Watch Better Off Ted Season 1 Episode 6 – Goodbye, Mr. Chips

Ted’s record as an employee gets deleted from the company computer. While he attempts to reestablish his corporate identity, Linda steps in as team leader.

Some quotes:

Ted: Sometimes big companies make big mistakes. Like yesterday’s, which caused a million fish in Lake Michigan to grow fur.

Linda: Don’t bother with HR. I can fake any ID with a razor blade and wite-out. Trust me, I’ve been 21 since I was 15.

Ted: I think I know my last name. It’s the one thing my father and I agree on.

Dr. Bhamba: Stop it! We’re scientists, not people who can examine every variable of a phenomenon to determine an accurate understanding of a specific event. Ted’s late. We can’t know why any more than we can unlock the secrets of the universe.

Veronica: But rebooting would shut down Veridian’s entire worldwide operation. And that mean money, which the company never parts with unless forced to by a government stronger than they are. And there’s only three of those left.

Veronica: Okay, fine, I’ll take care of your precious lab. Leave it all to me. So, Linda, you’re in charge of the lab. I leave it all to you.
Linda: Me?
Veronica: I don’t like it down there. it’s chilly, the people are odd, and it smells like science.
Linda: Well, I’m not a huge fan of that place either. Last time I was down there, i got chased by some weird eight-legged bird.
Veronica: Ah, the octo-chicken. We had such hopes for that.

Voiceover: Veridian Dynamics. Individuals–we believe everyone is special, irreplaceable, and will follow the thing walking in front of it. That’s why we celebrate all individuals, even ones going nowhere. Veridian Dynamics – because you can’t spell “individual” without “Veridian”. And “U”. And an “L”.

Ted: You know, I’d like to believe after everything I’ve done for this company over the years, they’d show me a little more loyalty than this.
Veronica: Yes, I know it’s hard to accept that giant companies don’t care about people. I know how hard it was for me when I first realized it… when I was 8.

Linda: Oh, shoot.
Ryan: What’s wrong, Linda? Is your card not working?
Linda: No, it’s not the card. it’s these damn breasts of mine. Ugh, I’m taking this new medication and it’s making ‘em so big and perky. Do they looks strange to you?
Ryan: Don’t worry about those breasts, Linda. They’re top shelf.
Ted: Hmm.
Linda: You can’t tell from over there. Come closer.

Veronica: I should have you all fired or demoted, or put you in the tank with the octo-chicken.